Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Choose Stillness

"To a mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders." -Lao Tzu

What is it about a thought that can leave me feeling completely debilitated?  Occasionally a thought will just shut me down completely, emotional turmoil far beyond the normal level of worry I continually fight.  And despite successful work on my self esteem in general, over the past 10 years, these debilitating reactions to certain thoughts still continue to haunt me.  I've found a way to be at peace with myself most of the time, and I am grateful to have found this stillness, but I want total stillness.  So I guess it is time to dig deep so my true spirit can shine and not hindered by this particular breed of worry.  For me, what finding stillness continually boils down to is: choosing stillness.  I will ALWAYS have haters (or at least my mind will try to convince me I do.)  There will ALWAYS be bad things that can (and will) happen.  I will make mistakes.  My kids will make mistakes.  My husband will make mistakes.  This is life.  I choose to focus on the positive.  I choose to enjoy the pleasant moments and make the best of the bad (or at the least, try to get through them as calmly as possible), because I KNOW good happens, too.  And if I really think about it, I will remember that way more good things have happened to me throughout my life than bad.  Choose to see the good.  Choose to remember that the bad will pass.  Find stillness, even when it seems impossible.  Choose stillness.